First it was Justin Bieber enraging the ancient Mexican gods, and now Vanessa Hudgens, one of our greatest practitioners of high-school musicals, has gone and desecrated one of the mystical rocks in Sedona, Arizona. Vanessa! No!!

TMZ, fearsome chronicler of our age, first brought this story to the world’s attention. It seems that Hudgens and her boyfriend, chronicler of Shannara Austin Butler, were visiting Sedona over the Valentine’s Day weekend, posting Instagram photos as young couples do, and in one photo (which seems to have been deleted) it appears that Hudgens and Butler have, with the strength of two well-toned actors, carved their very names upon the red rock. This is a grave no-no.

The authorities in the Red Rock Ranger District of the Coconino National Forest espied the picture and are now investigating. If found responsible, Hudgens and Butler could face a $5,000 fine and six months in prison, according to TMZ. Granted it’s a Sedona prison, so the bars are made of old dreamcatchers and you get served organic grains for every meal, but still! It’s not a high school and there is no music, so I don’t know what the heck Vanessa Hudgens would do in there. And, y’know, Sedona is a far cry from Shannara, so Butler would be screwed.

Though, actually, in some ways, Sedona is not that far a cry from Shannara. Sedona is strange and mystical, just like the land on the show. Which is exactly why Hudgens and Butler, better known by their celebrity-couple portmanteau, Budgens, shouldn’t have been carving things in the dang rocks! Why would you want to mess with forces beyond your comprehension like that? Sedona is full of such wonders, vortexes and strange energies and whatnot. There are more magic crystals per capita in Sedona than there are anywhere else in the world. I’m guessing, anyway.

You might think of Sedona as merely the place where your weird Aunt Rita moved after she got divorced, but it is not just that. I mean, it is that, for sure. It is definitely a lot of weird aunts drinking lukewarm rosé wine on small decks, looking out at the red rocks and wondering. For sure it’s that! And if the place was only that, then fine, carve away into whatever dumb rock you want. But those aunts have tapped into an ancient power there, some primal energy native to the place. And when that happens . . . Well, let’s just say your ex-uncle Dwayne’s A.T.V. accident was maybe not exactly an accident, O.K.?

So, hopefully Budgens will come out of this thing all right. They carved their names in that rock out of love, not out of malice. The spirits, and aunts, and spirit-aunts of Sedona will take that into consideration before they mete out their cosmic justice. As for the Red Rock Ranger District of Coconino National Forest, well those guys are mostly harmless. They just want people to learn their lessons about respecting rocks, red or otherwise, so probably all this press attention is enough for them.

If Budgens was smart, if they really wanted to make amends for this, they’d schedule a meeting with both the Red Rock Ranger District of Coconino National Forest and the area aunts, maybe slyly getting some kind of mixer going in the process. Vanessa and Austin could then find a time to slip out, back to L.A., just as the rum and Coke Zeros start flowing. And the Red Rock Rangers could whoop it up with the ladies of the canyons well into the night, the stars twinkling deep and bright in the desert sky, the astral winds swirling, the coyotes howling out their mournful wishes. Just as it’s meant to be in that sacred place, far from anywhere else, humming with the souls of all who’ve found themselves there, for whatever lonely and wonderful reason that may be.