Woman's 'Disgusting' Reason for Excluding Nephew, 10, From New Home Praised

The internet has backed a woman who refused to include her 10-year-old nephew in her plans because he's an "uncontrollable kid," but her brother "wouldn't have it."

In a post shared on Reddit under the username u/Educational-Aide-572, the woman explained that her brother's kids, Michael, 10, and Bella, 7, are very different from each other. While Bella is a very calm and mature child, Michael is a troublemaker.

The Redditor said that she and her wife bought a new villa out of town, with a pool, a game room, and a rose garden, and she asked her brother if they could have Bella over for a visit. But her brother told them they needed to invite Michael, too, or their niece wouldn't be coming.

"[My brother] got really mad at us and said it was disgusting that we favored Bella because she was a girl and that we were both hypocritical and unfair to Michael, and never included him in our plans," the woman wrote.

"I told my brother that Michael was an uncontrollable kid. He had the audacity to ask what Michael had done. I told him I'd let him know (I've told him the items over the years as it happened but he always said it was an accident and that Michael's a boy and boys play rough). I made a table including every item my nephew damaged in our house and the estimated cost."

The list included a few antique vases, a glass statue of the Eiffel Tower, a silk Persian carpet, several crystal decorative items, and two phones which he flushed down the toilet, as well as the mirror of her car.

Her brother was furious when he received the list, calling his sister an arrogant person and "an uptight rich kid."

Soula Hareas, a licensed mental health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that while this dad may be in denial, it doesn't excuse his behavior as an enabler of his son's terrible behavior.

"Everyone has a story about someone accidentally spilling something or breaking something at a home they are visiting. It always brings anxiety about how the homeowner will react," Hareas said. "Most of the time homeowners may be a little upset but they understand that it's an accident. I believe this woman felt this way the first time, maybe even the second and possibly the third time but her kind disposition has run its course with the young man.

"When treasured items are continuously being ruined or broken then it's time for her to set a boundary and that's exactly what she did. She isn't doing it to be cruel or to exclude this young man. He needs natural consequences for his behavior and if his father is not willing to do this then he shouldn't act surprised when others do.

According to Hareas, the fact that the daughter has not exhibited the same behavior is an indicator that this child could be attention-seeking. Either way, for the child's benefit, the father needs to reinforce the boundary the sister has put in place so that the child can change their behavior and take ownership of their actions.

"If the father does not do this then the behavior will just escalate and affect school if it hasn't already," she said. "This flippant disregard for property is sometimes a telling sign of a deeper mental health issue that can wreak havoc in adult life so the dad really needs to take it seriously, address it, and put into place some therapy and behavior modification strategies with a professional.

"Parents cringe when they hear a critique of their child but the ones that ignore negative emotions and behaviors are the ones who are basically adding fuel to the fire. It may or may not be a reflection of things going on in the home but the dad needs to find out the root cause."

Hareas believes the dad should have the child apologize to his aunt and figure out a way to make amends so that the aunt can slowly bring him back into her home because it's not fair that the daughter should suffer for the son's behavior, adding that the father should be modeling proper behavior not showing the son how to avoid accountability.

The post originally shared on the r/AmItheA****** quickly went viral on the platform. It has so far received over 13,600 upvotes and 1,500 comments.

One user, Posterbomber, commented: "[Not The A******]. He asked, not your fault he doesn't like the answer.

Redditor Fionaelaine4 said: "I grew up with five brothers, Michael has broken more stuff than we all did combined."

NotCreativeAtAll16 wrote: "No way what you did was [A******] territory. I thought maybe you'd kept a list of everything he'd broken next to your heart to bring out at all times. He opted to play dumb, so you were 100% right to bring up every situation you could remember at that point.

Commenter mutualbuttsqueezin wrote: "[Not The A******]. He literally asked what his kid had done, you answered. I wouldn't let that kid near my stuff either."

Newsweek reached out to u/Educational-Aide-572 for comment via Reddit chat. We could not verify the details of the case.

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