10 Tips for Rocking a Naked Bike Ride

This is not World Be Naked Wherever You Please Day. If you ride to the designated starting point in your birthday suit, expect your neighbors to complain and perhaps the police to give you an escort back to your pants. Organizers establish a meeting spot where riders can show up, strip down as bare as they dare, and then roll out on their bikes.

Body painting isn’t just for soused football fans. Body art is encouraged at Naked Bike Rides, so now is your chance to become a member of the Blue Man Group or Mystique from Days of Future Past. Oh, and be kind to your feet. Wear sensible shoes.

Keep in mind this will be a spectacle. People love taking pictures of spectacles. What fun! Until you end up on your boss’ Facebook feed in all your blue-body-painted glory. If this is a minor concern, stick to the center of the pack. If this is a “gee I hope I don’t lose my job” concern, wear pants. No one will shame you for wearing what you want.

Most of these rides are not terribly long and they’re definitely not fast, so chafing isn’t a huge concern. But if bare-butting your bike saddle skeeves you out, make like nudists do and bring a small towel to sit on. The terrycloth surface will also be softer on your skin than your pleather seat.

Real talk: It’s kind of cool and funny to hop on a bike-share city bike for your Naked Bike Ride , but a towel is not optional. You should wipe that thing down with some Purell when you’re done, too.

Naked Bike Rides often take place in the evening, after sunset. Sometimes, however, they roll in the stark daylight, and a whole lot of exposed parts that have spent their lives undercover will be shocked to see sunlight. Protect them by wearing sunscreen. Lots of sunscreen. Everywhere. Especially there.

This is not a casting call for Models Inc. Whatever your size, shape, or age, you won’t stand out (unless you really try). The whole idea is body positivity, and that literally includes every body. Also, don’t stress about being slow or getting dropped. This is a parade, not a pro peloton.

Many rides will have post-event festivities, generally at a local watering hole. You’ll want clothes for that part. Riders often bring (and ride with) a small pack so they can stash their street wear for the ride and slip back into it when they’re done.

You’re riding for a cause, sometimes multiple causes. Organizers typically lead chants and cheers for everything from street safety to environmentalism to body positivity. Be prepared to drop your inhibitions along with your trousers and play along.

Yeah, you’re pretty much breaking the law already by riding naked. But arrests are generally rare. Organizers publicize rides well in advance, and police are often present to provide road closures and rider safety. If, however, any law enforcement officer expresses an issue, the group is expected to oblige.